Ok, so it's now 2 weeks after the fact, so please bear with me:). There are some valid points worth mentioning, that I need to get off my chest!
JUNE 29, Monday:
4:30 am: I wake up in the middle of the night. One second later, my water breaks.
7:00 am: We head to the hospital. Contractions are about 4 minutes apart.
1:00 pm: I get the epidural. It hurts more than the contractions do.
1:00-10:00 pm: I am in labor for 9 more hours. Joey and I watch 'Stranger than Fiction' and repeatedly ask each other "aren't you glad you're not a Golem?" It is great for laughs. I am not allowed to eat or drink water, or get up to use the bathroom, for the whole day. This is hard.
10:00 pm: I push for about 30 minutes. They tell me to stop b/c my doctor is not there yet. I wait 30 minutes for her to arrive. Pushing doesn't seem that hard, especially w/an epidural.
10:44 pm: Baby R arrives!! She is under respiratory distress due to fluid in her lungs; I immediately start crying. The pediatrician comes to see her, and suctions her for an hour. She finally cries. I cry again, from relief. I receive a few internal stitches. I finally get to hold her. It is an incredible feeling.
JUNE 30, Tuesday:
Sometime in the evening: I stand up & have the worst headache of my life. I wonder if it is a migraine.
JULY 1, Wednesday:
I am discharged. I do not want to go home. I am told that the headache is due to an accidental dural_puncture resulting in a leakage of cerebrospinal fluid (ok, they do not tell me all that. joey does research online at home.) I am told to be on strict bedrest, and that any time spent standing up will prolong the recovery period. I am given a prescription for Tylenol + Codeine, and a liquid diet of Coke.
JULY 2 & 3, Thursday & Friday:
I am drinking Coke, so I can't sleep. I have urinary incontinence, so I am waking up every hour on the dot to use the restroom. My pain level is a 10/10, with the maximum doseage of the Codeine. I contemplate taking more. Breastfeeding is painful. Laying in bed is painful. I have a brand new baby, but I am not supposed to pick up anything heavier than 5 pounds. It is pure misery. I feel sorry for my husband & mother who are taking care of me. I repeat my mantras: 2 Bible verses, Phil. 4:13 and Isa. 40:31. They help.
5:00 pm: I go in for the epidural blood patch. The doctor is Korean & self-confident. The procedure works, & I feel better immediately. I have waited 72 hours for this. Joey wishes that we had come in sooner, & that the hospital hadn't discharged me when I had a problem. We go home, relieved & happy.
*****
PRESENT DAY:
Before giving birth, my greatest fear was the labor & delivery. The unknown. How will a 7 pound baby come out of my body?? How much will the contractions hurt?? Should I get the epidural??
However, now I am scared to death not of the natural procedures of birth that God intended for, but of man-made procedures and complications that can follow. With the anesthesiologist coming off a 48-hour shift + possibly messing up + and my anatomy, I was part of an unlucky 1 in 100 statistic. Do I forego the epidural next time? I know I never want to go through that again. I just don't know.
14 comments:
Yikes! So sorry your epidural experience was no bueno. We differ in that my epidural was amazing and the anesthesiologist was amazing, but I found pushing still difficult. Fighting the desire to give up sucked, although I only pushed 20 minutes. Glad it is all over! =) Hm...maybe I'll write a birth story too...
1) Stranger Than Fiction - I love Maggie Gyllenhaal!
2) How sad that you "immediately started crying" =( I suppose it's a mother's worst fear when giving birth?
3) at least they gave you Codeine...
4) urinary incontinence after giving birth? oy, this is news to me. is that normal??
5) At least the problem with the CSF leakage was treatable =) It should deter me come my time, but I still think I'll take the epidural, har har. I have a low tolerance for pain =(
So sorry that you had a bad experience... Having had 2 births without any anesthesia and 2 with epidurals I have to say that I think that I recovered quicker from the births without anesthesia. Did it hurt? - Oh yes! but it was temporary and the final result was worth waiting for. Second time around should go faster too.
Hope that the incontinence gets better... Do Kegel exercises
What a journey!! Thanks for sharing in such great detail--I read hungrily as I anticipate my own trek into the unknown... I love how you put it: "not fearing the natural procedures of birth God intended for us, but of the man-made procedures and complications that can follow"... It's not only the epi or man-made medicine that can go wrong-- My thoughts tangented to actually raising a child in this world. It scares me~ ^_^* How many births turn out OK vs. how many kids are messed up by this violent and sinful world. haha. I am getting so ahead of myself. ^^ We will just have to pray to God for guidance and have faith that He will take care of our future children. :)
After reading your last entry--it makes me rethink the epidural. I guess I'll leave it up to the moment. :P
Oh, and I LOVE Rebecca's newborn photos!!! I would love to do that also!! It looks so artistic I love it! She looks beautiful!!! A perfect model. hehe.
those spinal headaches hurt pretty bad. you should've called me. i would've told to go get the blood patch ASAP! glad you're feeling better.
hahah. this is too funny because my specially is ANESTHESIA! first off, i'm very sorry you had a wet tap, that is seriously very debilitating. an epidural is certainly supposed to make your life better, not worse- next time if you opt for one, make sure you tell them you had a history of wet tap and that you are on the shallower side for the epidural space. good thing you got a blood patch, it is very effective.
if you ever have any questions next time feel free to call me (=
well, considering what you went through, you looked amazing the last time i saw you. keep strong, mama, call me when if the depression hits.
so so glad you are feeling better!!! sounds like a very, very rough few days of motherhood!
Rebecca is so adorable and lovely! We should have a play date once Rebecca is older -- Gaby hardly has any girlfriends to play with!
The epidural hurt more than the contractions??? Oh my! I guess I was in so much pain from my contractions, I didn't even notice the epidural. I think I literally told the anethesiologist that I was so happy to see him. I also said, "Everyone must LOVE you!" and "You are the best!"
Isn't breastfeeding SO hard????? At least it was for me. It's great now, but I had a hard time for almost 3 months. Long story! If you need an AWESOME lactation consultant (you can call her for free), email me: candiceklee@yahoo.com. Also, if you live relatively close to La Canada/Montrose/Glendale, there is a FANTASTIC breastfeeding support group at Verdugo Hills Hospital. It really saved me. I looked forward to it every week.
And it's totally normal to have the craziest and scariest feelings and thoughts at this stage. Wishing you the best!
sarah- joshua has made a habit (or liking) or pooping on my lab when i'm burping him. sometimes the poop shoots straight to his back, sometimes his poop is so explosive some of it leaks out on the sides getting onto my clothes.....but most of the time it stays in the diaper....i think it's strange he likes to poop in my lab...
i hope you are doing better.
oh man unnie... sorry u had to go through all that. i thought the labor process would have gone much smoother then that for u, or hoped it would. well at least you're feeling better and the baby is healthy. when joey called andy about your headache, he was really annoyed that the hospital released u without giving u the blood patch. he said the headaches are REALLY painful :( i hope to meet rebecca soon... really want to meet her!!!
sarah!! kange told me about your epidural experience. first of all, CONGRATS! she is beautiful. and wow, what a rough experience with anesthesia. oh man!..hope you feel better now...
Dude, I don't want to have babies now.....
omg.. wow. i don't know about having a baby either... i'm not too great with pain.. :)
sarah.. it was so great to see you and becca (oh. and joey too haha) yesterday!! she is so cute....
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